Trading my skis for a yoga mat?
“Yoga is not about getting to know the postures. It is about getting to know yourself.”
~ Gary Kraftsow
Who am I? This is a question most ask, eventually. We spend a lifetime preparing to define ourselves through our careers, a favorite sport, or perhaps parenthood. For me, it was all the above, yet a ski injury, more than anything else, forced me to question my identity.
If anyone asked me to describe myself, I’d answer immediately. I know exactly who I
am. My biggest passion is my identity. I’m a skier. I was this before being a marketing
professional, a mother, an auntie, or a big sister. Everything that skiing stands for is
what I live and breathe. If I’m not a skier, then who am I?
On February 16, 2021, at Palisades Tahoe, one ski crash tore my ACL, MCL meniscus,
fractured three bones, and shattered my identity. It was devastating, but in order to
move forward, I entered a stage of intense self-care after experiencing extreme
self-doubt. This included practicing yoga daily from my home.
This essay is not about my ski accident so much as the journey I took towards
self-realization and how I’ll take this experience into the classroom as a teacher. My
personal yoga practice has helped me to define and love myself, and to comprehend
“radical self-acceptance.” (Nelson p. 35).
Radical acceptance is simply the acknowledgment of what is. It gave me permission to
be human, to hurt and heal. It also allowed me to recognize that, although I will ski
again, I won’t be the same person on the ski slopes. I will ski gentle terrain and at a
slower speed, at least to start. Whether I get back on steeper trails is yet to be seen.
Yet, I’m okay with this.
My thesis about self-realization directs me to the most important portion of the yoga
sutras: practice. I will particularly mention several physical, mental, and emotional
practices known as the 8-limbs of the Tree of Yoga that help ease stress and anxiety. It
was practicing these stages of yoga which most helped me heal, even more than
physical therapy and acupuncture, The 8-limbs include Yama (ethics) Niyama (Positive
duties or observances) Asana (posture) Pranayama (breathing techniques) Pratyahara
(withdrawal of senses-letting go of the physical world) Dharana (focused concentration)
Dhyana (meditation) and Samadhi (state of ecstasy, bliss, or enlightenment).
The eight stages are explained in the Yoga Sutras by Patañjali.
Each of us is like a plant with complicated emotions. We need warmth, nutrients, and a
safe space to grow. That can come through several things, including a glass of water or
a moment to meditate. I want to become like a living leaf on the Tree of Yoga, able to
spread my wings to each limb like a butterfly, carrying my students with me on the path
to healing.
I can’t ignore the physical environment in making me who I am today. Yet thankfully,
through the practice of Pratyahara I learned to let go of the outer world and focus on
self-soothing techniques. Because I’ve traveled this path, I feel I’ll understand my
students and brin deep compassion into the classroom setting.
How can I take my journey into the classroom for practical use? I’ve set my intention. I’ll
focus my yoga classes on injured athletes. Perhaps I’ll teach “Yoga for Ski Knees,” and
concentrate foremost on the first of the Yamas, Ahimsa. While I intend to concentrate on
every limb in the royal path to enlightenment, my most critical job will be to not harm my
students further. I’ll do this with kind words as much as using gentle poses such as
mountain pose, supported chair pose, forward bend, downward dog, bridge pose, and
other asanas that strengthen the knees and other joints.
I’ll set a weekly theme based on one limb at a time to incorporate the 8-limbs of yoga
into my teaching practice. “Today, it’s all about Dhyana, prolonged concentration or
meditation. Lie down, knees apart and soles of the feet touching to come into butterfly
pose, and breathe... Bring your awareness to your center...” Meditation does not mean
simply sitting still. It’s about keeping the mind still while the body is awake and relaxed,
and going with the flow..
To add a bit of Niyamas, I might use essential oils of lemon, lavender, or peppermint just
prior to Savasana (corpse pose) at the end of the class to support a deeper practice and
enhance the emotional and therapeutic benefits yoga provides.
Since I’ll be teaching either ashtanga hatha yoga or restorative for rehab, I’ll focus on
prolonged Asanas and Pranayama using props to support people’s bodies, yet I may
give a few minutes of a Dharma talk in between themes to explain the “royal path” of the
journey to awareness. (Kappimeither and Ambrosini, p.4). While teaching, I will remind
my students that the class is all about them as individuals, not about me or the
postures.” Everything but breathing is optional in yoga class.” (Kappmeier, Ambrosini, p.
26).
Yoga is not about reaching an end goal. Nor is it about always feeling blissful. Yoga is a
process where the path and the destination are one. (Mantra Wellness Magazine, p.6).
Part of the breakthrough for me came when I realized that this was a process. I will
arrive at Samadhi, the highest limb on the Tree of Yoga, when I remember my intention,
go back to the basics and stop taking myself so seriously. The yogic philosophy is to
find and accept our true self, not to stand on our heads.
I’ve learned the hard way that it’s okay to have negative thoughts. In fact, they’re vital to
our well-being. Attempts to suppress anger or sadness can actually reduce our
contentment if we do not process life’s difficulties. I plan to use positive affirmations in
the classroom, yet I’ll also remind my students that less-than-rosy emotions are an
important part of who they are. Rumi, a 13th Century Persian poet, tried to convey this
message in his poem, The Guest House:
"The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning, a new arrival.
A Joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently seep your house
empty of its furniture,
Still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them all at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond."
Overall, I realized I needed to help myself before I can help others. I reached Vedanta
(end of knowledge) grasping that I can have both an active and peaceful life
(Jakbowicz, p. 8). I intend to bring this truth within me so I have an authentic voice and
make an offering to my students. In a recent Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) class
I took, I learned to practice “Wise Mind.” (Linehan, Mindfulness handout 3). Wise Mind
is the wisdom within each person. It’s about seeing the value of both reason and
emotion. I’d love to take this wisdom into a mindful yoga class.
There’s no perfection in yoga, so why not practice Satya and say it like it is? “Let’s
breathe out, and move into half moon pose if we can. This is difficult, so use a block like
I am for easier reach if you wish. I have trouble with it too!”
Practicing honesty is one of the most critical limbs of the royal path of yoga. In his book,
In Search of the Honest Truth; Adventures in Yoga Philosophy, Hari-kirtana das said,
“The word svarupa (essence) can be taken as a sign that our true nature has spiritual
characteristics.”
Will I be trading my skis for a yoga mat? No. I will ski and practice yoga simultaneously.
Yes, I will even meditate while skiing. After all, I am a skier, and one of the greatest
benefits of yoga is injury prevention. Yoga improves your strength, flexibility, and
coordination—all key to skiing. Now that’s worth climbing the Tree of Yoga for!
Who am I? I am a caring, compassionate, and confident woman who can connect with
people on multiple levels. This physical and emotional journey I’ve taken has made me
a better person. I am an aspiring yoga teacher. That’s enough.
Namaste.
WORKS CITED
Nelson, Juliet, Mindfulness: Self-Compassion Skills, “Sacred Self,” (p. 35).
Kappimeier, Kathy Lee and Ambrosini, Diane M., Instructing Hatha Yoga, (p. 8).
Mantra Wellness Magazine, Spring Issue 2022, (p. 6).
Jakubowicz, Rina, The Yoga Mind, (p. 8).
Linehan, Marsha M., DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition,
Mindfulness Handout 3.
Rumi,The Guest House, taken from selected poems by Rumi. Translated by Coleman
Banks (Penguin Classics, 2004).
Kirttana das, Hari, In Search of the Honest Truth; Adventures in Yoga Philosophy, (p.8).